(1) The most important part of your instrumentation is the pickup truck.
(2) You have a Tasco refractor up on blocks in the front yard.
(3) Your observing site would be perfect if it weren't for the alligators.
(4) You carry a shotgun to deal with skunks, raccoons, and streetlights.
(5) The board with holes on the side of the DOB mount fit beer cans (the eyepieces already have a little box they came in -duh!).
(6) A cup holder by the eyepiece has a partial beer to balance different eyepieces. (Amazing how many need replacing as they get too light.)
(7) You will fight that SOB trying to find WWV when it was already on a perfectly good country station.
(8) You tell all the guys at the star party about that neat dang drinking fountain next to the toilet in them big fancy hotels.
(9) The counterweight on your Dob doubles as a spit can.
(10) You've used lard to slick those declination bearings.
(11) Others at the star party complain about the smoke when you barbecue spam.
(12) You start to giggle when you tell your buddies that you have a 16-incher.
(13) You ever wonder what your granny's truss has to do with building a telescope.
(14) You've ever tried to use your granny's truss to build a telescope.
(15) You nostalgically refer to Canis Major as Old Duke.
(16) You look at pictures of the Flame Nebula (or the Rosette) to get in the mood.
(17) You lie and tell your buddies the next morning that your red eyes are from drinking and partying rather than stargazing.